i miss the sunlight coming in through windows with no curtains the mattress against cold floor & the piles of books & vases & old cassette tapes in any corner of the room i miss it when it was still raw – 16 aug ’17, wednesday
I’m not accounted to the population of wondering if his lips are tender & sweet as marshmallow when in truth all I could think about is how blue his eyes were. like, really, how? are they blue like on a sunny day? a little bit dark at dusk? or like the ocean? I mean, who am […]
woah. it felt like a damn long time ago. like, once upon a time I met a guy online. soon I figured out it is pathetic but still a journey to learn form. had series of heartache I admittedly coined, and then an aftermath of looking too much for oppression. then that day came, I realized I am all I have.
not “a happily ever after” but “i live continuously.”
one night i came home from province and went freakishly bi polar the second i finished half my pizza. so here it is, a compilation from that sunday night. i i don’t know i want to cry but then it gets tiring i stopped for a moment then it gets sad and then so i […]
its fucked up “what do i lack from people who’re still within your reach?“ “can we meet this friday?” i’m fucked up “aw i can’t” but i don’t want to fuck up the life you already had that certainly looks better without me you didn’t even say you missed me you didn’t even apologize i’ll […]
MONDAY The usual bored eyes and sarcastic smiles. Mondays never exist in my presence. I always thought that it’s a Tuesday. It’s like that new medicine prescription given to you. You refuse to have it, unbelieving you had such illness when you thought you’re normal. I have overcome the fear generally. I got used of […]
I wrote this piece 2 years ago & reread it the other night. The emotions I’ve been holding back weighted my chest downward.
So odd that I have predicted my own relationship with a person who meant so much of me.